If peace is wanted, all pieces must be allowed to come together and become one again. It was one, some time and some place but the war in the family and outside made that pieces became loose and fear appeared.
The fear can be put aside but that means that all feelings are not felt any longer. Only if all feelings are accepted and taken the freedom to make peace possible, real peace can appear. Real peace is not possible if others are not free to decide what to do.
Expecting that only the parents should be served is exactly what the child wil not be able to do. He can never fulfil the expectations of the parents and he will not be able to fulfil his own needs if his needs are not seen by the parents.
As the child has no money to buy himself the music instrument he wants to play, he can not do the sports that he needs if his parents do not pay for it and he can not do the education he wants to do if the parents gave the message that they do not want the child to be better than they are.
Every child has his own speciality and the parents should be proud that this child has this speciality, without wanting the child to show it, if the child does not want to show it.
And if the child shows it and the attention is not on what is shown, that also is a non spoken message that the activities of the child are not wanted.
The words that are not spoken, are felt by the child and the child will stop trying to let this parent know what needs it has or what its daily life is like.
Do not be surprised when you find out, if this is your child, that your child needs much more help than you can give it because the feeling of not being accepted can be the beginning of being an addicted. The relations that this person has will be full of pain that mirrors the pain in the parental home.
This child will do as his friends, although it might do much better. Rather have good friends and no parents than good parents and no friends.
But everybody needs parents that are good friends and that are supporting, in good times and in bad times.